My roommates are a couple. As couples go they don't suck. I'd even go so far as to say as couples go they're great.
I have a tendency to stay away from home for days at a time and often get "are you ever coming home, we miss you" texts. The past four or five days I have been experiencing a bit of wanderlust and after several of those texts I decided I should show my face at my house for a while. Of course I forgot that today was valentines day and even the least obnoxious couples can be expected to make a special dinner, exchange heart shaped boxes of chocolates and do... Couple things... Like snuggling. As a single person I refuse to be bothered by coupleness of valentines day. My lovely roommates offered to let me join then but instead I opted for pizza, beer, and that amazing movie where Joaquin Pheonix grows a beard, gains 40 lbs, turns into the man of my dreams and decides to be a rapper.
Coming home very sleepy with a belly full of pizza I come whistling into my room, feeling very self satisfied to find the my old buddy Cliff waiting for me, in his nicest brown tie, homemade card in hand. Nothing reminds you that things could be a lot worse than finding a badly burned half man tucked under your covers.
In case you're wondering, the card reads: "Jenny... How I've longed for my chance to love you... Though I have neither beard nor skin, and my gnarled fingers have long since lost their dexterity, rendering me incapable of playing any instruments, I've never given up hope that one day you could learn to love me... <3 'C'"
Sorry Cliff... I'm dreaming about bloated, bearded, dreadlocked, drugged out Joaquin Pheonix tonight. Don't worry though, I'll make sure you're nice and comfy in the guest room.
Happy Made Up Holiday That You Don't Even Get Off From Work Day everyone!!!
He really, really loves you.
ReplyDeleteStory of my life it would seem, eh?
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