Noodle doodles

I've been feeling kind of burnt out lately.  Work really is for suckers.  Someone should give me a big sack of money so I can not go to work and just draw pictures of dinosaurs all day and drink beers and heckle neighborhood kids.  I mean... those are the things I'm good at.  I don't understand why I can't just be paid for the things I'm good at? 

Anyways I went out to dinner with Melissa the other day and there were crayons on the table.  Normally that would make for 1) the best dinner ever (not the crayons, but the drawing while I wait impatiently for my food to come) and 2) a table full of dinosaurs and volcanoes and balloons and whatever else but on this night in particular, along with many other nights recently I just didn't feel like drawing anything.  Melissa, needless to say, was both shocked and VERY upset.  She suggested that perhaps she would draw a noodle in a top hat.  Once she had done so I decided that I, too, would draw a noodle in a top hat.  Drawing noodles or... noodle doodles is kind of great!  So... here's my fancy Noodles McAllister out on the town with his best gal Nancy. 

He's whistling... obviously...

So then... what do you call a noodle that likes to get stoned??

A PASTAFARIAN!!! (Thanks Quinton)

And since that got me in the mood for doodlin' I finally drew some dinos. 

They're wearing f*cking overalls!

When I write captions for my pictures I'm always shouting in my head.  I hope you read them that way... shouting with excitement.

So, I don't know.  I need to get back on the horse.  I'm hoping that with the weather warming up a bit I'll want to do more than just get in my bed as soon as I get home from work.  Maybe I'll buy some crayons??

A valentimes day surprise

We all know valentines day is a crock of shit. I mean... What's the point of a holiday that you don't get off from work? If I can't day drink, it isn't worth my time.

My roommates are a couple. As couples go they don't suck. I'd even go so far as to say as couples go they're great.

I have a tendency to stay away from home for days at a time and often get "are you ever coming home, we miss you" texts. The past four or five days I have been experiencing a bit of wanderlust and after several of those texts I decided I should show my face at my house for a while. Of course I forgot that today was valentines day and even the least obnoxious couples can be expected to make a special dinner, exchange heart shaped boxes of chocolates and do... Couple things... Like snuggling. As a single person I refuse to be bothered by coupleness of valentines day. My lovely roommates offered to let me join then but instead I opted for pizza, beer, and that amazing movie where Joaquin Pheonix grows a beard, gains 40 lbs, turns into the man of my dreams and decides to be a rapper.

Coming home very sleepy with a belly full of pizza I come whistling into my room, feeling very self satisfied to find the my old buddy Cliff waiting for me, in his nicest brown tie, homemade card in hand. Nothing reminds you that things could be a lot worse than finding a badly burned half man tucked under your covers.

In case you're wondering, the card reads: "Jenny... How I've longed for my chance to love you... Though I have neither beard nor skin, and my gnarled fingers have long since lost their dexterity, rendering me incapable of playing any instruments, I've never given up hope that one day you could learn to love me... <3 'C'"

Sorry Cliff... I'm dreaming about bloated, bearded, dreadlocked, drugged out Joaquin Pheonix tonight. Don't worry though, I'll make sure you're nice and comfy in the guest room.

Happy Made Up Holiday That You Don't Even Get Off From Work Day everyone!!!

Interesting (read: creepy) new art acquisition

So my roommate bought this simply amazing piece of rape art at a Good Will on Saturday.  "What is rape art?" you ask?  "That sounds wildly inappropriate" you may mutter... whatever... get a grip.  Pictured below is our rape art... that lady is clearly trying to get to the door, which that dude (with seriously ripply calves and amazing pyjama shorts) is locking...

THIS IS RAPE ART!!

 If this were a polytich the next several frames would be... upsetting.  Certainly not PG rated.  FORTUNATELY it is not a multiframed progression so it is completely acceptable to hang on the wall in our salon.

Now... this painting was an obvious no-brainer at Good Will prices but Melissa didn't realize the true creepiness of this piece until she got it out to her car and looked at the back...

Oh poor Lisa...

Yep... as if a painting of an impending sexual assault wasn't disturbing enough, "I'm ganna kill you Lisa" is scrawled across the back in terrifying serial killer handwriting.  Leads me to wonder what type of girl this Lisa was, and whatever happened to her.  What did she do to so upset the previous owner of this piece of art?  Hopefully she's not dead in a 60 gallon barrel somewhere in East Haven...

ANYWAYS!  That is the excitement from the weekend... except when the musicians took up residence.

Having people play music on my front porch was exactly what I had always hoped it would be like.  It gave me hope that one day there will be spring time and porch drinkin' and scaring the neighbors with our honky music.

In closing... here is a tiny picture of a tiny dinosaur eating a tiny city that I just drew.

Kid cone

Your favorite summertime treat... Well, mine anyways. All drippy and delicious. Could definitely go for one right now!

R.I.P. dear sweet Rick Da&apos;Beard

This week the world suffered a great loss... Rick Da'Beard suffered a deadly clipper accident and was taken from us before he ever had the chance to grow and flourish as a beard. I know my life will never be the same and he will be sorely lost.

I know Rick is in a better place now and is watching over us all.

Braaawk DInochicken!

It's a goddamn dinochicken! With a goddamn bacon and bourbon tree! The Mesozoic was SO RAD!!!

Mack Messer is a pretty funny dude

My buddy made this web comic. It's currently as unsuccessful as my unsuccessful blog but I'm sure soon it will be very successful because he's a smart funny asshole who draws smart funny pictures. Go check it out and go on his twitter and like his shit or something so he will make more neato comics.

This is where you should go because I friggin said so.

Oh... And someone buy me a stylus so I can draw better pictures